Ek zamaana wo bhi tha, Ek zamaana ye bhi hai

Ab to sirf yaadien hi reh gayi hai, Yaadein un lamhon ki,jo hum kabhi jia karte they, ab to bus zinda hi hain.

Chahe jitni bhi koshish kyn na kar le hum, lakh chahne ke baad bhi, wo lamhe , wo pal laut kar wapas nahi ane wale. Per shayad yehi to samay ka khel hai, jab hum they, tab samay nahi tha, aur jab samay hai, to WO hum nahi.

Ek zamana ye bhi hai ki nikal jaate hain roz,hathon mein dabba liye, zindagi ki kishto ko pura karne k liye. Ek zaman wo bhi tha, jab nikalte they ankhon mein samne aur dil mein unki ek jhalak dekhne ki umeed liye.

Ek zamaana wo bhi tha, duniya ki nahi per doston/yaaron ki har khabar rakhte they. Zindagi ke update to roz shaam, ko mil jate they. Ek zamaana ye bhi hai, Hazaraon raste hain, phir bhi doosro se to kya, hum khud se bhi anjaan ho chuke hai.

Ek zamaana wo bhi tha, jab dosto zayada aur paise kam they, phir bhi sirf khushiyan thi, na they gum. Aur ek zamana ye bhi hai, paise hai bahot per doston ka pata nahi....

Paise kamane ki daud mein jaise hum jeena hi bhul gaye, kabhi purane gane suno to guzara zamanaa yaad ata hai. Yaad ata hai wo zamana,jab hum jiya karte they, jab hum befikra ho kar yaari nibhate they. Aur aaj, zindagi ki kishto ko pura karne ki daud mein, rishton aur zindagi ko kharch karte jaa rahe hain.

Wo kehte hain na, shauk to baap ke paise se pure hote they, apni kamai se to kishtein hi bhari jati hain.

Befikr ho kar jeena,apni hi mauj mein rehna ata tha hume. Zamane ne jeene ke mayne hi badal diye, shayad padai, naukri, duniya ne samajhdar bana diya ! Zindagi ke har mod per Socha tha ek din sukoon se zindagi ko gale lagaunga, per roz subah uth kar,nikal padte hain daud lagane mein, aur sham tak uss sukoon ke lamhe ki talash mein zindagi ka e kaur din beet jata hai. Aur zindagi...Zindagi ka kya, wo hai...Shayad yehi kahin...Kuch unkahi unsuni khuwahish ki peeche.

Beete hue lamho ki yaadein kuch dhundli si hai ,per kya ane wala kal saaf hai? Yehi sawal dil mein tab bhi tha,aur aaj bhi hai, aur shayad kal bhi rahega. Zindagi ki ye daud kabhi nahi rukne wali...Rukegi bhi aisi ki,phir shuru nahi hogi. 

Life,

Life, every time I think I’ve figured it out, it changes the bloody meaning of itself.

I still remember the time when I got my first salary, thought that, I would save for first 2 months and then spend. So I went ahead and saved some money for first 2 months, but only find that saved money vanishing in paying my education loan. Then I cursed my self for not saving enough, so started being more n more miser. In the process, something had happened, I never realized it until it was too late for me to do anything about it. (at least I thought it was too late). I forgot to live, or even enjoy the smaller moments of life. I mean I never enjoyed my First salary !!!, something I was waiting to do ever since I joined college, or got the job.

I never knew what or why this happened, but it did happen. So after that I thought that, ok, from now I will spend a lot over me, and let the life control what it can control. So I did spend some on me, but again I felt little bad for not being able to save much, for, home, loan, etc.

Right from the very begening, there had been two of me, at all the times, on every moment. There is a part of me, who wants to live life king size. Be free, enjoy the spoils of life, Go for an adventure, holiday, enjoy, have fun for a change !!!. I wanted to learn Guitar and look sexy !!!, jump from a cliff, visit a wildlife sanctuary, and what not. This list just won’t end.

But I have never been able to live the life which I wanted or dreamn’t about. And there is no one whom I can blame for this. It’s me and only me, who can be held responsible, if I feel sad, and down today for not being able to …. “Live” . . .

There have been people in my life who had always taught me something. One of my seniors in professional life, said to me, “.. Swadesh, there will be a time for saving money in life, but that time is not today. I never saw you Living, you are just surviving and nothing else. Go out, have fun, make a list of your dreams and try to fulfill them. Go the places you dream of, take your wife and go to a holiday often. The moment, the time which you have today, will never come again, ..live Swadesh, just live…”

I never forgot his words, but my mind doesn't allow me to ….to Live. I have to save for my Wife's priorities, family’s needs, expenses which are never ending, and the expectations that has only one way to go, UP. I want to live, but how , just how ? The moment I think of spending the money of my or our dreams, I start feeling that I need to save the money for future. Yes that Future, which I have no idea what’s it’s going to be like. But I have to save for it. How much? Don’t know. Will it be enough? Don’t know. But what I do know is that, I just have to save. And for that, I need to pay the price. I won’t be able to enjoy my Present. I won’t be able to live. And some where I think I’m ready for it, there is a big part of me which Is ready to accept it. I guess It has already accepted it. And maybe that’s why I’m not able to , spend or stop worrying so much about my future.

It’s now that I realize that I’m spending too much of my Time & Energy for my future, which I don’t even know. Even today, when I’m writing about it, I’m worried that how to save more and more. Without realizing that, no matter how much I save, it will never be enough. Now I realize that I’m afraid, yes, I’m really afraid that what will happen if I’m not able to save enough. Every time I step out to spend or buy something for myself,  or pick up something from shelf in a store, I put it back the next moment, fearing that I might over spend. That very moment I start to think hard that do I really need that thing. And 9.9 times out of 10, I will come back empty handed.

I want to change myself. I want to live my life for once. I want to be free; I want to feel something good about myself. I've got no idea what or how am I going to do that, but, I really want to do it. May be I can ask for help or advice. But I know what people will say, so I guess I won’t share it.

I know that I can and I should share it with my Wife but, I even know her reaction !!!, she would instantly say Yes to all what I want to spend on. After all she bought me my own First Guitar !!!.

I wonder, will there be a moment, which I will spent without a regret.

Dreams.........

Dreams...................There have always been dreamers, right from the creation of the World...right from the starting of Life forms...right from the Begening of Humans.....right from the time,we learnt expecting more and more from Life... right from when, we started to think, that what we have is not enough..... Right since when, we started to give less significance to present and more to Future.... right eversince we gave more value to wht "Could" be instead of what "IS"......

Seems a bit negetive right?? Well, it may be or may be not.

To Dream, is the basic nature of all the Life forms and not nessecarly of Humans Only. We dream, when we expect something more from the existing world. We dream beacuse we feel that, the Life could be much more better than what it is now. We also dream, to let go of our past and see a glimps of beautiful future that lies ahead of us.

Some people belive and say that " Do not dream..it hurts when they dont come true.." and things like that. Well, fare enough i guess. We humans, are very strong, Yet extreamly fragile in nature. We humans have tendancy to creat an superficail world and live in it. Constantly trying to achive all the aspects of the "Dream Future". Soemtime, these Dreams help us to achive what we can not even think of.
If the Twin brother wouldn;t have dreamed about Flying, we wouldn'y have the Airpalnes today. If Human had not dreamed of touching Moon, we would have been on Earth forever. If we would not have dreamed about having a better Future, the mordern day creations, gadgets would have never been into existence at all.

It's our dream that keeps us alive and most importantly hopefull for a better future. Dreams are always about a better future. Sometimes, we dream of things that had happend or went wrong in past. But what do we see there, Perhaps, few possible solutions that could have led to a good situation, thus, ultimataly leading to a Good Future.

There has never been a problem with Dreams. The problems lies with Us. Its within ourselfs. And so is the Solution.

When we dream, we visualize a perfect world, free from any anomalies or distortion in simple terms, a Happy Life with our loved ones around us. We like that Situation so much that we start puting our efforts to make that dream come true,and parallel to that,some where inside us, we realize that we have already started living that life. But in raelity, its still far from existance. But since we love that situation so much, we don't think in opposite direction.

So far so good, every thing seems to be in perfect place, Loved ones around, taking new steps towards that Dream. But, there are certain aspects of life, that we cant not take into account, no matter how well planned our actions are. There is something called as "Fate" :). It's something, that Human can not controle. No matter how hard he tries, it still remains the main driving Force.

The moment we realize that the "Dream" which we had seen, is not comming true or gets broken, we sink into our own sorrows and our beautiful heart,makes us feel sad.

But, do we ever realize that, the "Dream", which we had seen or the Situation that we had Visualized, is actualy still there and up for us to Grab!!!,. Then whats the Difference?? Well, its actualy "..The Faces, The Instruments, The Obejects, The View " that has Changed and tampered. Have we ever tried to realize that, the very Idea of a perfect life, is still there!!!, So what if our People change, those Faces, so what if the things/items we dreamed of are not there, That life is still there. We can still achive the same level of expectaions with a Different sets of People and Items. And how knows, we may even derive a better satisfaction from it. And which actaully happens in real life!!!.

We just need to understand the "Dream" is all about. Some times in Life, we have to let go of our own planning. Beacuse we need to a take pause, and see what Life has planned for us.

As for me, even i had a beautiful dream, which had gone Sore :). But this, doesn't stops me from dreaming again!!! . My life has always been around my Dreams and I know, that i'll Live for them. So what, if the Faces in those dreams will change, My Dream,.....is still there up for me to Grab :) :) and i am Going for it!!!

Past, Present and The Future

"1st love is always golden", " pehla pyar to bus,,,pehle hi hota hai " , "u cant forget the 1st love.." , , , How many times in a day we come across these lines from the people around us. Don't take the Pain of counting/thinking, its actually useless. Its not that i am against love or something like that!! nope I am absolutely Not, But I just differ a Bit.
I believe that, Love is always just Love,its this Plain and Simple. Many Centuries ago, its was called Love, and even today its the Same. What has changed then??
Its our perspective that has changed today.

Today's youth is always under Pressure of Academic,Sports, Family, Peers, Friends, Love Life, Society, and what not, this list is endless. So, where does all this Pressure goes?? Any Idea??....it all goes into the Brains. Our Brain is even more complex than the all the mysteries of the Universe Combined. Now what the brain does with all these Pressure is actual very Interesting.

It creates an artificial world around us, and makes us believe that, this is the Perfect World, and we start living that world. Which actually runs Parallel to the real world. Which has no similarities at all. it can go on and on for years until one day it reaches a Crossroad.

Now this is where the Problem starts, at this very Crossroad, we, all of a sudden realize that, its not the Perfect world Any more. and we Succumb to the Pressure or Accepting the Truth.

The very people who live their entire life's around Truth, when they are made to face such situations, even they Fail to Accept the very Truth, with which they were living so far.

Every human on this Planet has a Past, who will be living in Present and will definitely have a Future. So what does it takes to actually stop the humans to move ahead??? Why they can not come out of Past??? is it really that though?? or its just some thing else.??? It worth thinking.

now every ones, Perception towards Life is different, even mine. I can never understand that how can a Man's Past can not let him to have a Beautiful Future??
It all starts up with that Parallel World, but what we fail to realize it that, that World has to End, so that the Actual world can Survive. And it eventually does.

All that Matters, is When we do it & How we do it.
We need to be ready for our future, which irrespective of our Past, will happen for Sure. And its Entirely up to us,that how we welcome this Future. We have 2 Choices, Either we Face it and make it even More beautiful or Keep sulking to our Past and make it even more regrettable.

One request to all who will ever read this. We have only 1 Life to live, lets not insult the most beautiful gift of God", This is Life,,,,Live it..........